Gail is a wonderful writer and her work is so easy to read. It’s almost like she is sitting on a lounge chair opposite you, telling you her story.

This is by far the most daunting interview I have ever done. Just thinking about Gail’s ordeal brought tears to my eyes as I am also a survivor of child sexual abuse.

We did our interview by phone as Gail lives in Brisbane and I live in Sydney.

Before we pressed the 'RECORD' button, we both had to try and pull ourselves together. I was feeling terribly nervous as I thought I may totally “lose it.” Gail told me she was nervous also, although it was hard to tell on the recording as her voice sounded so natural.

Gail and I both shed tears during the interview but was able to get through it with each other’s support.

Listen to the interview here (WARNING - tissues may be required) –

http://www.box.net/shared/ctfrlvu5zg

Or read the transcript below.

"The Remembering"

Lana’s Interview with Gail 

Lana: Hi Gail it’s lovely to talk with you again and welcome to Wise Woman’s World.

Gail: Hi Lana, nice to talk to you too.

Lana: Gail O’Keefe is the gutsy author of her very personal and heart wrenching story “The Remembering”.

Gail, I found your book to be extremely compelling reading. As I began reading the first page, I was immediately gripped by your frank, no holds barred story and I automatically switched off the outside world as I became totally immersed in your every word - right up until I reached the final page.

It certainly had a profound effect on me. Gail, can you please explain to our wise women in your own words, what the book is about?

Gail: Thanks Lana. Yes, my book as Lana mentioned is titled, ‘The Remembering: A Legacy of Sexual Abuse’.  It is a memoir of courage, strength and resilience.

It is about my journey of healing from childhood sexual abuse.  I chose that title because for me it was about the remembering’. 

I found that by pouring my pain out onto paper I was able to gain a slight sense of relief. The poisonous flashbacks that continued to surface at a disturbing rate in my conscious mind initially never made a great deal of sense. By bringing them to life through writing, I felt like I had purged them from the depths of my soul.

These often daily writings are what I’ve titled The Remembering.

Lana:  Gail, your horrific childhood journey stirred my emotions to the very core, your experience provoked anger in me and even extreme sympathy. It also filled me with pride and inspiration knowing that we women can rise above tremendous adversity and conquer even the most shocking of challenges. Gail you are an exceptional woman - please tell us more about yourself.

Gail: I live in Brisbane, Australia with my husband David and two children, Rebecca and Grant.  I have facilitated and conducted numerous online TeleClasses, private consultations and I am the founder and moderator of the ‘Survivor to Thriver On-line Support Forum’ for sexual abuse survivors.

Along my healing journey, I studied everyone and everything that could assist me with my recovery, personal strength, growth and empowerment. I then integrated that information with my own experiences and developed a common sense holistic approach for addressing healing from childhood sexual abuse.

I bring a special brand of empathy to my recovery life coaching, whilst teaching people to move beyond childhood trauma and to reclaim their vibrant life! 

I specialise in supporting, teaching, and inspiring sexual abuse victims to live successful, happy and content lives. Free of shame, guilt, addictions and painful recurring memories, by successfully combining clinical techniques and Recovery Life Coaching with a holistic approach.

Lana: What persuaded you to write your story and have you had any previous writing experience?

Gail: There came a time when I realized that if I stood still, encased in my turmoil, confusion and soul splitting pain, I would remain at that point forever. I realized that when I fell down and stayed down, life was passing me by…my children were growing up before my eyes, I wasn’t connecting with my husband and I wasn’t participating fully in their lives.

I had reached a very low point in my life and I made a promise to myself. If I survived the horror of these horrific memories I’d write my story one day, in the hope that it would help inspire other survivors. Also to enable supporters of childhood sexual abuse victims to gain an understanding from a survivors perspective.

Lana: Your story HAD to be told Gail and will no doubt help many others with their healing processes as well as drawing attention to the enormity of the prevalence of child sexual abuse.   How long did it take to write The Remembering?

Gail: It has been a transformative process of eight years.  I began writing in my diary the day after I had my first memory surface of my father sexually assaulting me.  I simply did not know what else to do back then.  Little did I know that there would be more shocking memories surface as the time went on.

I commenced writing my book two and a half years ago. 

Lana: Was your family, particularly your husband, supportive of you writing this book or did they have reservations?

Gail: Yes, they played a major role in me writing the book.  My children and husband also went on the healing journey with me. I was still a wife and mother although only functioning to the best of my ability, as I suffered major depression and anxiety also.  Some days were diamonds and some days were stone. 

At one point our marriage deteriorated and we separated.  However, our marriage was put back together stitch by stitch, inch by inch with both of us embarking on our own journey of personal development. Out of a deep love and desire for each other we committed to improving the quality of our marriage.

We have all stumbled from the battleground called ‘The Legacy of Sexual Abuse’. Eight years later, forever altered, bloodied, exhausted and with a knowing that our lives and our marriage would never be the same. However our love and faith was the glue that restored our marriage, along with respect for each other’s journey and path.  My husband and children read my story before I published.  There were many tears and lots of hugs.

Lana: On your website you mention that your husband David and children Rebecca and Grant are the ‘wind beneath your wings”. Can you explain what you mean by this?

Gail: They are my heroes who gave me the ‘wind beneath my wings’.  On the days when I felt like I wanted to end it all, that it was too hard to face another day full of pain, their faces would pop into my head.  Or, one of my children would come up and wipe my tears, give me a hug and say I love you mummy.  My husband and children taught me how unconditional love can heal a fragile and traumatized soul.  That is what gave me the ‘wind beneath my wings’ the will to keep choosing to move forward, to put one foot in front of the other and never, never, never quit!

Lana: Gail I can only image how utterly harrowing it must have been for you to put the words to paper. How did your emotions affect you as you were writing the book and was it in any way therapeutic?

Gail: The tears spilled down my cheeks and fear would often grip my fingers with each keystroke. Some days I would not write, I would cry instead.  Other days, I would go and seek counseling, have a healing, or find support to help me through reliving the trauma.  Often my husband would arrive home and I would be a blubbering mess!

I’ve screamed, sobbed, raged, given up, over and over again, but there was 'The Remembering' within me that was relentless and wouldn’t permit me to quit and be silent any longer!  Yes, it certainly has been a therapeutic process.

Lana: I’m so happy that you didn’t quit Gail and I am also so tremendously inspired that you had the courage to tell your story.

What other comments have you received so far from people that have already read you book?

Gail: The feedback has been overwhelming!  I will read you some of the ones I have received.

As a survivor, reading these memoirs has deeply inspired and strengthened my courage, faith and trust in myself, life and love. - Kris.

….her journey as written in The Remembering is an inspiration to me as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Her story is one of amazing courage and determination to find her truth, to forgive herself and others and to move forward in life with dignity, respect and love for herself first and foremost.  - Louise

A truly remarkable story of courage, determination, strength and a deep-seated will to survive, despite not just one, but repeated soul-destroying episodes of abuse.  - Lisa

Lana: Powerful comments! Gail who do you believe this book will appeal to?

Gail: I feel it will appeal to anyone who has suffered abuse or trauma as a child, a parent who has a child who has or is suffering abuse or trauma and also supporters of victims (friends, families, and health care workers).

Lana: Where can we purchase a copy of The Remembering and what is the cost?

Gail: You can purchase a copy from my website – www.theremembering.com.au or at amazon.com.  They are $29.99 each.

You can also visit my website to download a complimentary excerpt.

Lana: What are your plans for the future?

Gail: To finish my Diploma of Life Coaching, write a workbook for trauma survivors and to speak to organizations and networks that support survivors.

Lana: Gail, thank you for having the courage and the tenacity to write this incredible book and for sharing your amazing story of survival with us at Wise Womens World. 

Finally Gail, what is your advice to other child sexual assault survivors?

Gail: Firstly, please know that it was not your fault and that you are not alone in your experiences and recovery efforts.

You can visit my website – www.theremembering.com.au and click on the resources link.  I have compiled a list of helpful resources for survivors.

I also facilitate the ‘Survivor to Thriver On-line Forum’.  A courageous group of adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse who are no longer willing to suffer in silence. Here you will find the support that you long for and deserve! http://groups.yahoo.com/group/survivortothriver

Choose to be a Thriver not a Survivor by reclaiming your childhood, your way!

Thank you Lana.