The Black Dog Depression

The Black Dog by Lana

What is Depression?

A lot of people believe that depression is feeling sad, blue, and unhappy or pretty much down in the dumps. Many people who have never experienced depression will tell you to “snap out of it”. If only it was that easy!

Diagnosed clinical depression is a mood disorder in which feeling of sadness, anger, frustration, loss, low self confidence or self esteem impedes upon the persons everyday life for extended periods of time. If you have suffering from depression or have been a sufferer in the past, you will know that every day is a challenge. From the moment you open your eyes - you feel a sense of hopelessness and a feeling of being detached from your usual pre-depression self.

You find that people around you, in many cases, avoid your company, you sometimes feel very isolated. You tell yourself you will feel better soon and you try to lift your mood but it is just too darn hard.

Women

Women are considered a risk factor for depression and studies suggest that between 20 to 25% of women will be affected by major depression at sometime during their lifetime.

Studies are still underway to understand why females seem more susceptible to depression. It is believed that several factors may contribute ;such as the high incidence of post-natal depression, a history of childhood abuse, which results in low self-esteem, and gender differences in the metabolism of chemical signalling molecules in the brain.

Many women also suffer depression due to menopause or being premenopausal.

Causes

A person’s depression is generally due to a

combination of factors including.

Socio-cultural

• Relationship breakdown/difficulties

• Abuse in an interpersonal relationship (egg. partner

or family member who is controlling or abusive)

• Being socially disadvantaged such as financial difficulties and being unemployed

• Changes in life (marriage, parenthood, menopause, ageing)

• Stressful life events (loss of a loved one, illness in family, family breakups, accidents or trauma)

• Caring for someone with a chronic physical or mental disorder or having a parent with a mental disorder

• Being in residential care (for seniors/the disabled)

• Physical or sexual abuse (past or present)

• Racism

• Facing homosexuality/or transgender.

• Drug or alcohol abuse

Usual Symptoms

· Feeling of hopelessness and/or lowered self-esteem (or self-worth) or even guilt

· Change in sleep patterns.

· Changes in appetite or weight

· Heightened emotions

· Lack of interest and pleasure in activities that you used to enjoy

· Lower tolerance to pain

· Impaired memory and concentration.

· Lowered energy levels.

· Less ability to control emotions such as pessimism, anger, guilt, irritability and anxiety

· Reduced or no sexual drive

· Lack of involvement in and enjoyment of life

If you have a number of the above symptoms that persist for more than 2 weeks, it is advisable to see your GP to rule out clinical depression and to find out what is causing those symptoms.

If you are feeling suicidal it is very important to seek immediate help.

Lifeline (Australia) 13 11 14

Personal experiences:

Christine tells her story –

When I first experienced depression about 15 years ago, I really thought I was just being moody and was stressed and overworked. I would cry a lot over minor issues and I felt a gradual but increasing lack of self confidence. I really thought that these ‘blue’ feelings would pass. My life during that time is all a bit of a blur. It sort of hurts to remember. I guess I felt like a robot. I forced myself to do my job, run a household, and be a mother, wife and friend. I tried earnestly to cover up my feelings and thought I was putting on a brave face, a face that masked my true feelings – a poker face. I found that friends were calling less frequently and I became difficult to live with. I lost my sense of passion, enjoyment, adventure and appreciation for all things and I guess I even lost myself. I was pushing away the people I loved most. I was annoyed at myself for not being able to cope as I did before – I was no longer ‘super woman’. Where did she go? I can’t have depression I thought. I have too much to do; too many people rely on me.

I guess I am one of the lucky ones, my family stuck by me and although times were rocky in my marriage we got through. My best friends stayed.

After about 2 years – that’s right – I endured 2 years living a life that no longer seemed like my own. I even felt like I was living inside of a different person. I had been disconnected for 2 years.

I finally saw a GP, I was embarrassed, embarrassed that I had failed at life. Embarrassed that I could no longer cope. I had no more strength or desire to carry on.

It was time. It was time to face up to my sad and pitiful life. I saw a GP who put me in touch with a professional.

In the professional’s office I poured my heart out, I cried and cried. I spoke about the child sexual abuse from my past (that I had hidden from everyone). I talked about the lack of love and concern that my parents had for me. I talked about my drinking problems my feelings of loneliness my feeling of not belonging of feeling somewhat like an alien.

The visit proved to be like a cleansing of my soul, all those things that I had bottled up for years. I felt free, even relieved. I felt brave and wise.

I was prescribed anti depressants which were so strong they made me feel giddy and nauseous. I tried various varieties and eventually found one that I could tolerate. I dislike taking medication so only took them for a short while but I adopted alternative therapies and began to improve little by little. Today I am a happy successful person. I love who I am and I love my life. I have a wonderful family and many friends.

I asked Christine during her darkest days if she ever contemplated suicide.
She answered, “Everyday”.

I would like to sincerely thank Christine for her honesty and frankness.

Today she looks a picture of health and happiness.